broken yet not beyond repair- am I not right?

Last lap of SOT... Turbulent 4 & 1/2 mths & it doesn't seem to get better. Yet I cannot blame anyone else for my predicament, I've chosen it. Yet...


Joel 2:25- 27

"So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locusts has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I have sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, And praise the name of the Lord your God and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame."

Von, will you hold fast? Will you emerge? Please do.

Ps Ming: God hears even your silent thoughts.

HELP ME BREAK MY HEART LORD...

"$419"

Eccl 5:2 - 7 NEW LIVING TRANSLATION

"And don't make rash promises to God, for He is in heaven and you are only here on earth. So let your words be few. Just as being too busy gives you nightmares, being a fool makes you a blabbermouth. So when you make a promise to God, don't delay in following through [$5...?], for God takes no pleasure in fools. Keep all the promises you make to Him. It is better to say nothing, than to promise something that you don't follow through on [$5], in such cases, your mouth is making you sin. And don't defend yourself by telling the temple messenger that the promise you made was a mistake [*'oath' VS 'pledge' hmm...]. That would make God angry and He might wipe out everything you have achieved [$5]. Dreaming all the time [$419] instead of working is foolishness, and there is ruin in a flood of empty words [$5]. Fear God instead [$5]."

*taken from Merriam Webster's Online Dictionary

"OATH"

1 a (1) : a solemn usually formal calling upon God or a god to witness to the truth of what one says or to witness that one sincerely intends to do what one says (2) : a solemn attestation of the truth or inviolability of one's words b : something (as a promise) corroborated by an oath

"PLEDGE"

6 a : a binding promise or agreement to do or forbear

1 something given or held to assure that the giver will keep a promise pledge that I would bring the car back>
2 a person's solemn declaration that he or she will do or not do something pledge that I won't interfere with your marriage> -- see PROMISE

Related Words: bail, bond; deposit, down payment; surety, warranty; oath, promise, word; commitment, compact, contract, covenant; recognizance

From the whole lot, 22,000 were unwilling. 10,000 remained.

Then God sifted again...He said He would only use those who lapped like dogs.

Only 300 passed.

Gideon's 300 men overthrew the Midianites and Amalekites whom the bible said were:

as numerous as locusts...inumerable; too many to count.

Many have left...you're right. Except you didn't leave, God sifted you out of the race.

You weren't worthy to be God's dog.

$5 can't even buy a Macdonald's meal.

One Heart. One Mind. ONE.

Don't mess with this House.

reference links:

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/pledge
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/pledge

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/pledge

Thoughts

Choose to look at what we have and not what we do not have.

What do I have?

My solutions to my problems can be found in what I have...

...and I have GOD.
- That beats all odds!

Kudos to Jassie

Jassie, you amaze me. You encouraged me with your maturity, your love for God. Your desire for Him. I do not know many people who had to go through as much to live out their convictions for Jesus. I am so so proud of you- I'm privileged to have you as my disciple. =) You inspire me.

My heart give thanks knowing that some disciples would lay down their everything to have Jesus and His will manifest in their lives.

Jesus said
Mt 5:10-12"God blesses those who are persecuted because they live for God, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses you when you are mocked and persecuted and lied about because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted, too."

Jn 15:18-21"When the world hates you, remember it hated me before it hated you. The world would love you if you belonged to it, but you don't. I chose you to come out of the world, and so it hates you. Do you remember what I told you? `A servant is not greater than the master.' Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you! The people of the world will hate you because you belong to me, for they don't know God who sent me"

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him."

Life is a sum of all the choices we make.

Our choices today determine who we are tomorrow.

I pray for a generation who would never be afraid to make tough choices- to give whatever it would take to LIVE IT & not merely exist. Many people are merely existing, they are not living. Only God can give us life and in Him we live.

When we are transformed from faith to faith,

from strength to strength,

from glory to glory,

it's only right to remember that it's not how great we've become but

how far grace had carried us.

Worked out...

Went for dance classes today- 2 lessons straight. Freestyle jazz really got to me. After 2 1/2 years of not dancing, my technique went totally right out the window. BOO! Balance was ridiculous, alignment feels out of sorts. ai! But I enjoyed it nonetheless...missed the times when I had boundless energy that can just go, go, go. Ha!

I need to improve, recover lost time- don't want to do myself a dis-service.

God, multiply my sowing...give me the ability to up my kinesthetic intelligence.

LOve loVE lOVE!

People are NOT projects.

They are not opportunities.

They are not stepping stones.

We are made for love

So I want to love love love
I need to love love love
I'm going to love love love
"Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends"
My greatest aim in life is LOVE..
"...abide faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest love of these is love."
I would love like my Saviour loves.


=)

We need to...

Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Sing like nobody's listening.

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

I know it's probably nothing very new. Many have probably came across this very common quote. But when I read it this time in an email that's sent to my junk. It struck me that this is what I really want- to be free, to be liberated, an end to all strife. And sometimes I wonder why is it even that hard if I want it so much. Only to discover that thy greatest anemy is thyself. When I choose to hold on to everything contrary to what I want, I get stuck with all that I don't want. Brings me back to many years ago through many sermons I hear preached week after week "Let go and let God"...

So, I will love despite the hurts - live that life of forgiveness Jesus led. In Christ I'm never the victim! =)

Live it out LOUD! Through my life bring Heaven on Earth...

and that'll be love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, goodness, patience, self-control and faithfulness.

With God all things are possible. they are 'yes' and 'amens'

YAWNNNNNN*****

BLEAH!

ok ok...I know! It's been over a month since i last did a proper blog. HA!

Time passes so quick, you can't keep track off any progress or how much that you've done in that span of time. Erm.. does it make sense??

Anyway, had new haircut again. Short this time round, not something I really really loved. But much looking forward to the next style - one which I've already pitched to my hairstylist. =) God told me this whole hair thing is going to be a blessing and boy, it is. It's all God. Today I've got 3 different individuals asking me to do photoshoots for them ( all the 3 different branches- Toni & Guy Heeren and the Academy, plus of course Holland V). OK, dun think too far: no $$ offers. JUst inhouse modellings and free hair maintenance and cuts whenever you want. So it's good deal anyway, even if u get a real crappy cut for their projects, u can get them to fix it for u again and again and again. YEAH! How cool's that. Coming from spending tons on my hair to having free good cuts. WOW! (well of course, i've got to put up with people's comments now) ah well. what's the big deal really- hair grow darlings.

I'm in a whole mode now. What mode? Not too sure actually.

Pastor Phil's fantastic. Leadership, commitment, discipline, capacity, a big heart- this man has it. Hands down.

I want to beat things into shape, I realise. My hands are always itching to beat things into shape. When some things ain't right especially pertaining to discipleship and attitude, I like to pounce on it immediately: Hey, get it right. Here, do this. CAn't u see it? NO? Let me show you. Still cant? What's wrong with you??

People not knowing my heart, that sucks. Making me think twice about what I do, that sucks. Re-examine motives and get more confused, that sucks more. appreciated? no, not really. it doesn't feel too good? sure it doesn't. ugh. very tempted to not care the world about it but it's not easy, cos it just doesn't happen. I can't not care cos i know that i care about what i wish I don't give two hoots about.

I remember now- I told God this, that if people whom I care for would not stand up for me and would come against me and wrong me. That would be my biggest test. I mean, it would be to anyone else. The test is that my heart remain pure before God. The power of honour indeed. For those who don't know what I'm tokking about purchase sermon for the 5th June.

me me again again 

me Again! 

sPunk 

sometimes in life, when my spirit, soul and mind is battered by struggles, hate and spite,

I just have to decide that everything Jesus represents- the cross, His love, hope, His forgiveness is enough for me to give up all for Him.

Nothing I can give or cannot give can ever compare to what You have first given to me

Set me free, Jesus- John 8:36 says, "So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed!"

From Pst Phil's Desk..a timely note

PATIENCE
'Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience.' - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hi, I'm Phil Pringle
You're going to love this

Patience is strength of spirit. She is the measure of our capacity.
Short spirit, short patience, long spirit, long patience.
Patience bears heavy loads with a happy attitude, without complaining.
Patience is something I decide to receive, to embrace.
Say, 'I decide to be patient. I receive patience now.'
Patience is nourished through trial, strengthened through pressure.
Whatever you're facing right now, it is growing your level of patience.
This in turn increases your capacity.
Increased capacity increases your success levels.
Be patient. It will surely come to pass.

amazing sUnday!

Sunday was amazing! Breakthrough 40 mark! If there's a title apt for Sunday's sermon by beloved Dr Joe, it's gotta be "Don't act like you know God when you really don't." HA! Well that's what I came up with. heh.

I loved the vibe on Sunday and I really want to thank God for His favour and the harvest that we've reaped. Lord, I really want to keep the harvest in this time. Please give me the faith and I desperately cry out to You in desperation. Lord, teach me to love the people You've entrusted me.

I'm tired of winning and then losing, NO! I want to win, consolidate, disciple and send them all out! I want armies of God! I want strong army! Not luke-warm, wimpy ones! Please God, teach me to have faith, trust You and have compassion for without Jesus I can do nothing!!!!

MORE OF YOU LORD!

Lastly, a note to all r.n. members who read this, let's give God excellence every week, every service, every cell group, not just in IMWs but all the time, knowing that the atmosphere we built is going to bless every person and member who comes to worship Him.

my crazy fun church 

Met up with my NZ friend, Nicola Cowie today. She was on transit from Holland to NZ for holiday.
It was good catching up. Shared and challenged each other's paradigms. Funny how we wanted to just steer from talking about work but realised that we can't cos work is life and life's work. Ha! But it was good...like we said, it's breath of fresh air. Can't wait for east-meet-west culture. She's a music director in CCC in Holland and just got herself a boyfriend-her first! I'm so glad for her, he definitely sounds like a nice guy- granted she's biased! HEh.
During christianity 101 today, a new girl joined us, her name's Min Yen (Dawn's friend!) and she's so open and pretty and she enjoyed herself so much!YEAH! We're not going to let any person go without a fight anymore!

God, I don't want to be a hired hand, I want to be a shepherd who lays down his life for the sheep.

I find it so hard to be real. U know, have struggles and all and still be real. Know the expectations yet at the same time believe in people enough to tell me that it's ok to not 'live it up' sometimes and not be written off as not having faith. Be healed and move on rather than move on, not healed.

God heal me and teach me, mould me that I can be all You want me to be. Help me to get whole and know the standards, to know and experience Your deep love and acceptance and do Your work as Your daughter and not Your servant. I want to be Your friend, Your daughter, Your lover. Lord, come again and again...Never stop coming.

heyo! playo..a bit of random-ness

HA! Just came back from watching BE COOL..it's alright... Basically lots of black slang the 'yo', 'yo bro', 'play-yo','be kewl...' yada-yada. Sean enjoyed it and so do I cos you get to laugh at anything and everything. Heh.

Got my hair cut yesterday. Nah, didn't get no colour cos ain't no guts to ask. heh. (Su's like 'aiyah! you must ask lah...' Heh, Zap spent a good hour and 15 mins on me, I have got no complains.=) Everybody's asking me about my hair: where i had it cut and how much, when I tell them it's free they're like 'No Way!', 'Why?' ...Cos God said so. =) This whole deal is God and cos God said He wants to bless me so here's the blessing. Free hair-dos until who-knows-when. Isn't that amazing? God cares about me and knows what I love and want that He just takes care of it. *blissful sigh*

I want strong disciples, strong members because all that equals a STRONG church. That's what I've been praying for 'God make us strong...No more defeated mentalities, depression, frustrations and confusions. NO more!' I will be strong! YEAHHHHH....

Love..If you ain't got love, you ain't got nothing.

Goodie Good Friday!

Great day today!!
Went to Ikea, grabbed some church stuff and stuff for wardrobe. Sales were not fantastic. Had BK for lunch, it was ok... :P
Headed back to church for Passion, invited 5 persons but all turned me down. -_-* Back to Passion, I've watched probably for 8-10 times but this time round, it was different, not that it was more real than the rest of the times but I guess the realisation of the LOVE of God gripped me. God loves me... God loves ME, God Loves ME! God really loves me...AWESOME!!!

After Passion, we hung around a bit in church and finally made our way to our usual 'makan' place, sat there for slightly over an hour, 'fei lou-ship'. I love my cell helpers, love their company and of course my coolest hubby and my bestest friend. Just the church! =) *big smilies*
The time of prayer was the coolest and absolute highlight of the day!!! Seriously just the presence of God is the best thing EVER! God brought the whole lot of us to heaven, in our visions.

Ermmm..I suggest if you are reading this and you have a problem with moving in the Holy Spirit and God giving us dreams and visions, which by the way was what many in the old and new testament did, then u might as well not read on =)

So. God told me tons about me dancing and birthing those visions and dreams and how He wants me to cont. choreographing, honing my technique and I'm going to win in the dancers. The dancers in r.n.'s gonna be strong, tell-it-like- it-is dancers, shine the Light, cool, expressive, kinesthetically aesthetic! I speak that into being. Amen!

Then my dearest hubby told the entire group that God wants to bring us on a tour to Heaven and we all shut our eyes and BOOM! there we are, so many had similar visions!!! God is so good to us that He would never want to withold His good thoughts and plans from us! I saw my house in heaven vaguely, actually I saw my activities more...heh. Chatting and yakking, with my neighbours and angels and neighbours and more neighbours. The liberty to just yak!!!! Haaaaa!!!
The next thing was me going around Heaven with skateboards and roller-blades and what have you with fireballs as wheels! That's bizarre, cos never thought of myself as a roller-blader-kind of a person.
Then I see my heaven with roads made of purest gold, railings of finest pearls and I see there in my courtyard, a big treasure box full of jewels of many differnt kinds, they were so much that the floors' piled up with them. They are all over and I was choosing jewels for my friends, sending them away as gifts to my friends in heaven. I'm dropping it into their letterboxes. It's way cool!
The last thing i see was Jesus leading me to my/our secret garden. It's the garden that God always bring me to in my visions with Him. There's the swing, the lake/pond/pool. Beautiful, serene place. And I see myself having garden parties with the best food served ever for my guests and more yakking. Heeee...
God loves me and knows me and wants me to be me. His version of me, whole and secure in my Daddy's love.

I love You Lord, I want to know You more and more and more and such intimacy that I become a walking Jesus. I just want you. Period.

aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.......

are people entitled to only good times?
are u given a pat on the back only when u do well?
U know, say the right thing, do the right thing...
and frowned upon when u go through tough batches?
"hey, u aren't suppose to say that", "how can u feel that way?"
I'm real. Look, i'm not perfect
SO stop demanding of me!
I want to give my best, boy, God knows how much

I'm fed up.
Fed up of having to feel that I am always wrong whenever things crop up.
Am I that lousy? No, seriously. Tell me.

i want to fly away. Please l.m.a.

yet when i can't do it, i pray the grace of God carries me through

Raise up the banner of FAITH!

Shout out the Name of JESUS!

Praise HIM, PRAISE Him... PRAISE HIM

All that is within me shall praise HIS HOLY NAME!

Shout hallelujah!

Because He is BIG!

God keep coming, because I wanna serve no man but You.

You'll be the reason I do what I do.

i want to be me

i just want to be who i am

don't want to fit into nobody's shoes...

if i am just who i am

is that enough?

God, make me who You want me to be

And i know that'll be more than enough

Day of Downs =( and Ups =)

Darling's birthday today! =) Yesterday nite went to celebrate, attempted something out of the usual- but did something so DUMB, ruined it for my dearest. Tsk.

Morning was horrid- hurled angry words, spotted by Pst C.J, good that she left us alone =/, just horrid. So moral of the whole incident is "Get over yourself, Von" and boy, I WILL! YES!

A crazy bunch of us went to queue for Benny Hinn at 10am! It was quite a drama really, with people jumping queue and all the whole ugly singaporean or rather Asian syndrome. -_-*. But, u see, I've to checked my own inclination towards judging and lack of love too. See, how God's church so needs His touch! God, come. MORe! and NEVER, NEVER stop. Use us LOrd, our unclean hands and lips.

Benny Hinn was great. One thing I learn is to be persistent and determined for my breakthrough, to claim God's promises. Nothing is impossible with GOD. Me and God make the majority. I'm a king, ruling with my King! Amen. Cant wait for tmr. Double portion of anointing.

Don't stop coming to me Lord. Enroll me in Your new-breed of army.

WOw woW WOW!

SURPRISE! Thanks dearest, I like it *heh* - PINK. Looks so freshhhh..

for those of you who do not know what I'm rambling about. *humph* DId u NOT notice the new blogskin????! *tsk tsk*

All credit goes to lovely, gorgeous, bestest Char, MUAKz! =)

Love the pointe. Oh, that reminds me of my pointe shoes...my resolution. ai....

Once again, thanks dearest, so touched. =)

TEST TEST

....

aaaahhhhhhhh!

My lower set of teeth is throbbing with pain/soreness! Yesterday, got my removable retainers because my teeth shifted...*boo hoo* PAIN! Yelp!

I preached my first sermon on Sunday!! It was good because it felt so easy to convey and I know it's God! It's always God. And I realize something and that is when you just live your life with God, sometimes,work doesn't really feel like work. heh.

I mean of course, we need to prep, we need to seek God, need to know His flow etc. But it seems like when you work with Him, your fruit multiplies and like Jesus puts it,

"My food is to do the will of God."

It really satisfies...=)

ahhh...pain!! =P

All for vanity's sake!

New Year

It's the 5th day of the new year and I'm feeling a bit stretched. Char's not here... though grace been falling and ministry's been running and good looking at the results (could do better though) but patience are running thin on some individuals. Urgh!

And I take so long to decipher whether it's me or them and so I ask God, God-willing, I pray I'm moving as He's moving. But I want this month to be great, set momentum for myself and the church. =)

Editing the curriculum in the event of having to juggle many other things has proven to be very trying.

But you know like we always quote in RN, "If you fail under pressure then your strength isn't very great."

So I'm determined not to fail but to do better. Let love, faith and hope in God overflow into excellence is what I'm really keen on this month or rather for the rest of this year...then better every other year.

Feeling a little alone actually. Quick run and cry in Daddy's arms

It's been nearly a month since i last updated..=P. ANd of course my dearest best friend has been hounding me to do something about my blog..She's one of the reasons, make it two that my blog's still surviving. heh.

Anyway, camp's been over and it was good..talking about it now won't do it much justice and of course would be a bit stale to be updating on something so 'passe' (for lack of better word). Nah..but it's been really different from other camps we've had n good change I would say.

Today, i embarked on a 3 day fast. =) Felt I so needed it. Today was good, though realization dawned on me that i probably haven't done it in a loooonnnnggg time. Was hungry for 3 hour straight but was really good drawing closer, nearer to God again =). Think everyone should do it haaa..

Christmas's just 3 days away! Goodness, the year just practically flew by me!

At the end of every year, I do not extensively evaluate myself, I'd like to think that I've already taken stock of myself continually throughout the year. So, every year end, my resolution is to better myself. You might think "Duh! Who doesn't?!" Thing is I love to do it one at a time.. tackle one thing at a time, do it and do it well.

One big achievement for 2004, I married and became Mrs Sean Yeo!! =) Another is I served my beautiful Lord and saw no lack in anything I want/need. Many more, growth in cell, disciples, stature, in understanding etc. It's been a very frustrating and stretching year but nonetheless, I feel good. Don't ask me why, it's like I just knew it's been good like God's working so much behind my back than in front of me, and I love it. Couldn't wait for 2005, greater things to come. AMen!

In about 2 weeks' time my Pastor cum best friend's going to be going to Toronto!! She's so going to have a ball over there though now she's always telling me how she wished I could go with her so I would socialize on her behalf and how she's nervous about the whole trip yada yada yada... heh. Going to miss her and so nervous about having to take on more responsibilities but I know that His grace is more than sufficient for ME!

Today, had leaders' meeting from dinner time all the way to 12am in the morning!!! But it's really good, it's good for me cos I can tell God's grown me in my understanding an perceptions and it's all GOOD, or rather better than good, it's FANTABULOUS! AMEN! U go yvnch! =) MORE, MORE, MORE, I want MORE MORE MORE *haaa..private joke*

Love my hubby...muakz!!!!

meh meh

went to the doc today. Was feeling the bug getting to me the past few days but this morning in the office, was getting this horrible headache and feeling really nauseous.

Good, I go to the doc though, get the ailment out of the way.

Many things happened the past few days, some good, some not-so good.

Ah well, that's life =)

Got a feeling, I ain't going to be sleeping much today. Would go read some books..Ok not the best thing to do when u are recovering from an illness... Oh but what the heck. My spirit needs some serious nutrients and communicating with Father, lest I slowly crash and burn. =P

Have to guard my faith which nwadays so easily come and go.

Camp's coming. Funny though have not been very involved in the prep very much, I knew it's going to be good. Camp's always good, let me re-phrase:

RN's camp's always good.

Cos we see God, God touches us, renew and anoint us.

Want to expect more. =)

God, bring Your pple down.

Star-gazing

Did I forget to tell Ting me and Su saw one of the S.H.E gals at KLCC?? I think her name's....erm... well, it starts with S.. Well, you can so tell I'm not a big fan.

Went out with hubby to catch the incredibles and had lunch at Jack's, tell you I can have a good slat of steak anytime!!! But the waitress serving us is so.....well dearest hubby needed his daily dose of coffee and so asked if he could have his coffee served first but the waitress said no (which to me is a shocker!!) and hubby went "Why leh?" and her answer was simply no lah, now you've your drinks first..later after meal then coffee..What?! The server dictating the customer's preference. To me, it's all very interesting, but looking around in the restaurant I can just imagine why, 3/4 of the staff are your typical auntie and ah-cheks. Talk abt flexibility with em?? Erm...I don't think so.

Incredibles is really enjoyable. Leaves you feeling good, no lousy feelings like from most movies or leave you feeling freaked or etc.. get my drift? heh. Well, the moral of this story (Incredibles) is basically "Be who you are created to be." Trying to deny it makes you miserable, trying to be who you are not makes you pathetic.

Oh, today's another star-gazing day: saw Aileen Tan and husband, a Channel U host- the one from China, and her husband Hong something or something Hong. Robin Leong (yelp)..think he had opened a new shop at wheellock place teaching chi/gong fu...any chance of seeing Fiona Xie snooping around in one of the classes? Hee.

Oh did I update that I've started work, I mean in the office?? Well, I'll leave that for another day. I like working in the office, of course with all things, there're pros and cons. My take is I love making cons into pros! Von, you rock.

Finally home and goodness, it's been ages since I've updated my bloggie...=P

Well, I'm back now with lots to 'load off'...all good stuff =)

Can't wait. Back from KL yesterday, suffice to say, it did me much good.

Went there thoroughly down and out. Came back not just refreshed but changed. My seed died. =)

People, listen here, I ain't going to fear no man, ha-ha, like the Daryl chant

"There's no mountain, there's no mountain that I cannot climb"

Later, Von

Status Quo.

Sleep was good. Pouring last night. Might go to KL alone...ah well..

I'm sick of status quo, of everything being the same, barely surviving. Cells' the same, ministry's the same, people's the same. Most of all, I'm the same. Maybe that's the problem here- I'm the same. Don't want things to go on the way it's always been. It's driven me to frustration already, what can be next...self-hate?

I need to love life, need more of God, want more of God, want to be so close to Him, want to wake up every morning and not have to feel overwhelmed by work, by people but be so happy because God is so close.

Or is it just a case of PMS? Nah...

I'm more than a conqueror, I'm His.

Life'll be great.

those who have ears let them hear!

Tuition or not??!

Don't want to be dictated by my needs though... What do you want God?

Did I hear 'Yes' and '6'?

Rufff Rufff!

Got angry with Ruff. The very 1st thing I did in the morning...angry with Ruffles. URGH!! Spoilt my morning....maybe I should just ignore him next time. Forget the morning hugs and kisses and sweet "Ruffle, come...". Tsk.

T-shirts! Lelong lelong!!!

T-shirts anyone!!!! $16 for good cause!!

my blog's too boring. Ok from now on, try to keep it short and sweet.. =)

Char's helping me with my chatter box, haaa. Free labour! *bleah* Btw, she's the mastermind behind my profile (erm..except the 'abt me' part)

The CHAR Invasion!!!

Muahahahahaha.....! My best friend's blog needs a touch of me!

peace out. - CJ

It's been a really long time since I've spent a day like that. I think the last time I feel sentiments the way I do now must be several months ago. Today's Monday, Monday means off day which really makes me wonder why do I need it? Like I do not feel at all over-worked so no reason for rest. At the same time my flesh screams "Slack!"

Well, MOnday to me = spend time with God. But I didn't, not one minute of it yet. So, I ought to just kick myself in the butt. Here I am preaching telling people what they ought to do, preaching holy, faith and all but I myself disqualify hands down. So what does that say about me?------- A flipping hypocrite! Goodness.

I feel today that I fit myself into the shoes of one of my pastors from my old church. She told me that once she was astonished by the fact that she could spend her entire off day sitting in front of the TV, doing nothing but pretty much just doing fingers exercises on the remote control...

So, what's up with me?

It's 12 hours after asking myself that question. A new day, a new beginning! 'His mercies are new every morning' !

bleah...

I really have got no idea what I want to write or rather what I want to let out. You know how they say blogger.com is a place for the depress?? Haha. Nah, we all have good and bad days, but you see, my belief is this that even the bad is ultimately for the good. Confused?? It's really simple because "all things work for the good to those who love Him and are called to His purposes".....

Hmmm...I am at this peculiar moment in my life where I find many things dissatisfying - self and people, people and self. I just need more, want more. But please don't misunderstand, it cannot be just more crap, garbage and things that many would tell me can satisfy because frankly, not many things can. Or some things seem like they can but they are but fleeting joy. I want something more permenant, rather just permenant fullstop. I want change in my life, in my family's life, in the lives of my cell members. I want them to have more and so I thought to myself 'If I want them to have more, I need to have more..'

A paradox isn't it? Because, I realise that to have more, one really don't take on more. You need to lose more...

So there you go, I want to lose more, more of self...what can I say really? I want You, my Lover

I love this post! READ IT!

Right, I just created something for myself and I have no idea what's it about. So, I assume I'm suppose to write about me. Well, just saw "Honey" once again and the song "I'm good" is just stuck in my head. Well, what's so bad about thinking that I'm good, people generally just want to find something in which they are good at and everyone has the potential to excel in many good and excellent things if they would just tap into the right Source- only the Creator will know what the creation is for. So, hey if you're reading this, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you're from, I'll post you this question:

Do you know what you're good for?..=)

me and my doggie