I'm good

DANCING IS NOT WHAT I DO, IT'S WHO I AM

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Status Quo.

Sleep was good. Pouring last night. Might go to KL alone...ah well..

I'm sick of status quo, of everything being the same, barely surviving. Cells' the same, ministry's the same, people's the same. Most of all, I'm the same. Maybe that's the problem here- I'm the same. Don't want things to go on the way it's always been. It's driven me to frustration already, what can be next...self-hate?

I need to love life, need more of God, want more of God, want to be so close to Him, want to wake up every morning and not have to feel overwhelmed by work, by people but be so happy because God is so close.

Or is it just a case of PMS? Nah...

I'm more than a conqueror, I'm His.

Life'll be great.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

those who have ears let them hear!

Tuition or not??!

Don't want to be dictated by my needs though... What do you want God?

Did I hear 'Yes' and '6'?

Rufff Rufff!

Got angry with Ruff. The very 1st thing I did in the morning...angry with Ruffles. URGH!! Spoilt my morning....maybe I should just ignore him next time. Forget the morning hugs and kisses and sweet "Ruffle, come...". Tsk.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

T-shirts! Lelong lelong!!!

T-shirts anyone!!!! $16 for good cause!!

my blog's too boring. Ok from now on, try to keep it short and sweet.. =)

Char's helping me with my chatter box, haaa. Free labour! *bleah* Btw, she's the mastermind behind my profile (erm..except the 'abt me' part)







The CHAR Invasion!!!

Muahahahahaha.....! My best friend's blog needs a touch of me!

peace out. - CJ

It's been a really long time since I've spent a day like that. I think the last time I feel sentiments the way I do now must be several months ago. Today's Monday, Monday means off day which really makes me wonder why do I need it? Like I do not feel at all over-worked so no reason for rest. At the same time my flesh screams "Slack!"

Well, MOnday to me = spend time with God. But I didn't, not one minute of it yet. So, I ought to just kick myself in the butt. Here I am preaching telling people what they ought to do, preaching holy, faith and all but I myself disqualify hands down. So what does that say about me?------- A flipping hypocrite! Goodness.

I feel today that I fit myself into the shoes of one of my pastors from my old church. She told me that once she was astonished by the fact that she could spend her entire off day sitting in front of the TV, doing nothing but pretty much just doing fingers exercises on the remote control...

So, what's up with me?

It's 12 hours after asking myself that question. A new day, a new beginning! 'His mercies are new every morning' !





Sunday, October 24, 2004

bleah...

I really have got no idea what I want to write or rather what I want to let out. You know how they say blogger.com is a place for the depress?? Haha. Nah, we all have good and bad days, but you see, my belief is this that even the bad is ultimately for the good. Confused?? It's really simple because "all things work for the good to those who love Him and are called to His purposes".....

Hmmm...I am at this peculiar moment in my life where I find many things dissatisfying - self and people, people and self. I just need more, want more. But please don't misunderstand, it cannot be just more crap, garbage and things that many would tell me can satisfy because frankly, not many things can. Or some things seem like they can but they are but fleeting joy. I want something more permenant, rather just permenant fullstop. I want change in my life, in my family's life, in the lives of my cell members. I want them to have more and so I thought to myself 'If I want them to have more, I need to have more..'

A paradox isn't it? Because, I realise that to have more, one really don't take on more. You need to lose more...

So there you go, I want to lose more, more of self...what can I say really? I want You, my Lover