YAWNNNNNN*****

BLEAH!

ok ok...I know! It's been over a month since i last did a proper blog. HA!

Time passes so quick, you can't keep track off any progress or how much that you've done in that span of time. Erm.. does it make sense??

Anyway, had new haircut again. Short this time round, not something I really really loved. But much looking forward to the next style - one which I've already pitched to my hairstylist. =) God told me this whole hair thing is going to be a blessing and boy, it is. It's all God. Today I've got 3 different individuals asking me to do photoshoots for them ( all the 3 different branches- Toni & Guy Heeren and the Academy, plus of course Holland V). OK, dun think too far: no $$ offers. JUst inhouse modellings and free hair maintenance and cuts whenever you want. So it's good deal anyway, even if u get a real crappy cut for their projects, u can get them to fix it for u again and again and again. YEAH! How cool's that. Coming from spending tons on my hair to having free good cuts. WOW! (well of course, i've got to put up with people's comments now) ah well. what's the big deal really- hair grow darlings.

I'm in a whole mode now. What mode? Not too sure actually.

Pastor Phil's fantastic. Leadership, commitment, discipline, capacity, a big heart- this man has it. Hands down.

I want to beat things into shape, I realise. My hands are always itching to beat things into shape. When some things ain't right especially pertaining to discipleship and attitude, I like to pounce on it immediately: Hey, get it right. Here, do this. CAn't u see it? NO? Let me show you. Still cant? What's wrong with you??

People not knowing my heart, that sucks. Making me think twice about what I do, that sucks. Re-examine motives and get more confused, that sucks more. appreciated? no, not really. it doesn't feel too good? sure it doesn't. ugh. very tempted to not care the world about it but it's not easy, cos it just doesn't happen. I can't not care cos i know that i care about what i wish I don't give two hoots about.

I remember now- I told God this, that if people whom I care for would not stand up for me and would come against me and wrong me. That would be my biggest test. I mean, it would be to anyone else. The test is that my heart remain pure before God. The power of honour indeed. For those who don't know what I'm tokking about purchase sermon for the 5th June.