bleah...

I really have got no idea what I want to write or rather what I want to let out. You know how they say blogger.com is a place for the depress?? Haha. Nah, we all have good and bad days, but you see, my belief is this that even the bad is ultimately for the good. Confused?? It's really simple because "all things work for the good to those who love Him and are called to His purposes".....

Hmmm...I am at this peculiar moment in my life where I find many things dissatisfying - self and people, people and self. I just need more, want more. But please don't misunderstand, it cannot be just more crap, garbage and things that many would tell me can satisfy because frankly, not many things can. Or some things seem like they can but they are but fleeting joy. I want something more permenant, rather just permenant fullstop. I want change in my life, in my family's life, in the lives of my cell members. I want them to have more and so I thought to myself 'If I want them to have more, I need to have more..'

A paradox isn't it? Because, I realise that to have more, one really don't take on more. You need to lose more...

So there you go, I want to lose more, more of self...what can I say really? I want You, my Lover